USE THE FIRST DATE TO PLAN THE SECOND DATE

MISHA ESTRIN

DATING COACH

TIPS

Do you ever have trouble getting second dates?
Or you get their number/contact info but they never reply 
Or you try to make plans with them via text an it becomes frustrating and you give up?
ALL of this can be avoided by finding out your common passions/interests and planning a date while they are right there with you in person.
WHY?
1. you will both like each other more because you are spending time talking about a future involving the other person. Scientific studies show: The more you can get someone to visualize a positive future/experience with you the closer they will feel to you. Also by asking the other person their passions and sharing your own you will be able to find and bond over common interests
HOW?
"Give me a list of your top ten hobbies. GO!"
Then talk about the overlap, or ask more questions about the ones you're interested in!
"What are some fun things you've wanted to do recently but haven't made time for"
If you make a plan based on something the person has been putting off doing that they're excited about they will associate that feeling of excitment with you, be way less likely to flake, and be grateful to you for allowing them to experience it
When scheduling the date:
Make sure to ask "what days are you free after _____(insert your time constraint here)" This saves you time from shooting in the dark and being like "you free Friday at 5? OK what about Thursday at 7? no... ummm....... well what about Saturday at......etc"
Then, when you pick a specific day and time say
"let me add you to my calendar"
This is a huge compliment to the other person because it says "I want to make sure to not forget our plans" it also legitimizes the plan and lowers their chances of flaking.
You ever make a plan with someone, and then the day of ,you're like
"I wonder if they were serious or just being nice 'agreeing' to meet me"
Probably wouldn't have that thought if they put it in their calendar right in front of you! LOL
Without MAKING A PLAN the first time you meet someone or the first date, it will be 5x harder and take way more effort to meet up with them.
Easier way to make plans with someone:
Invite them to something you're already doing
If you're doing something fun or already going to an event or party invite the people you're interested in.
WHY?
1.) If you're not sure whether or not someone is into you it's the lowest pressure way to offer spending time with them.
2.) It's basically saying "I'm doing this. Would love for you to join me but if you can't I'm still going to do this"
You're offering to bring them into your world, there's no pressure of it being a one on one date, you can have your friends/people you know wingman you and talk you up...etc
3.) People love being invited to events that are exclusive. It makes them feel special and is usually taken as a huge compliment.
Ie: my friend is having a Halloween party on Saturday! you should come! 
 
Ie: You free on FRI at 9? I'm going to happy hour at corner bar with my friends an you should come!
 
Ie: I'm going for a walk around the lake at 4 this Sunday! you should bring your dog
 
HAVE NO PLANS TO INVITE PEOPLE TO?
Make fake plans!
 
How?
 
ask what times/days of the week they are free and coincidentally be
"walking around the lake"
 at 4pm on SAT
 
"you and your dogs should join me"