MISHA ESTRIN

DATING COACH

TIPS

Your goal should be to meet the people you find attractive in person as soon as possible.

​

Because you will get the best feel for what a person is like in real life, but you will have no idea who they are based on 3 pictures and 4 sentences of text.

​

Focusing your time on these types of messages will get you the best results:

 

When sending people messages on dating sites to hang out, I highly recommend thinking about what a person's profile says about their personality/who they are, and why you like that/the positives.

​

IE: love how eccentric all of your pictures are! you seem like a very outgoing person who is fearless!!

 

Here you are characterizing the other person's positive personality traits that she is probably the most proud of, or if you're wrong she will correct you, thus committing to the conversation thus implicitly telling herself that she likes you, and you learn about who she really is.

​

Also when you characterize what you like most about a person, or hope that they are like that.

Or know you will like the person more if they posses these certain qualities.

(Assuming you've characterized them well)

​

THEY BECOME THAT PERSON.

​

Amazing! Right?

​

You know when someone tells you you're nice so you do more nice things for that person, or when someone says you have a gorgeous smile and you smile more at that person. same with everyone!!

People will be who you explicitly perceive them as.

​

ASKING THEM OUT ON THE DATE!

When you pick up on that common interest on their profile, IE their profile says I LOOOVEE going out for coffee"

​

You can say "I also "lOOVE going out for coffee!" Let me know what days work for you after this TUE and we'll grab a 30 minute coffee! Would love to meet you/hear about your band/______/(insert what they seem the most proud of/what you found the most interesting about them)

​

Saying "lmk when" puts the conversational pressure on them to respond and the word "when" implies that THEY HAVE DAYS THAT WORK FOR THEM. 

VS

"Are you free any days after Tuesday"

Which is a yes or no question, potentially implying they could not be free.

​

giving them the option of being like "nah I'm not free"

whereas "Lmk when" would only be rejected if they TRULY have something going on. Like; surgery, or vacation, or they hate you.

​

"We'll grab a coffee for 30 minutes" 

Is a great time constraint because some people are afraid of feeling trapped and you yourself may not enjoy someone's company you met for the first time so it gives you both the option to say "well our half hour is up"

​

And if you are both having a lot of fun it will usually go longer than a half hour.

​

And using the word "we'll" is inclusive language that is used mostly by people who are close and subconsciously makes the other person feel closer to you.

We, "will" as in: are going to, is a powerful word because it implies "this is a future thing that not only includes the both of us, but "WILL" happen.

​

​

​

​

​