MAKE A PLAN WITH THE OTHER PERSON
By definition friends are people you spend time with. When you find someone attractive or interesting let them know you enjoy their company by MAKING PLANS with them!
HOW?
Invite them to a thing you’re doing!
I always feel really good whenever someone offers to do something with me because to me that is a compliment. By asking me to do something with you I feel like you are saying “you are a person I would enjoy spending time with”
Make specific plans including a time and location.
Ex: “We should hang out sometime” vs “We should high five people at mall of America at 10:21am tomorrow” I am way more likely to agree to and follow through with the latter.
EVEN BETTER_> find common passions and make a plan based on your shared interests!
How? -à ask them to list their passions and jump into the conversation when there’s overlap with your own!
GET THEIR PHONE NUMBER
Asking for a number is a huge compliment to most people because it says “I enjoyed our conversation so much that I want to see you/contact you again!”
The biggest mistake you can make with someone you wish to be your friend/romantic partner is not getting their contact info!
If you don’t have a way of reaching them to coordinate plans, you will probably never see them again!
How?
Hand them your phone and say "you should put your number in my phone because.."
Provide a reason for getting their phone number!
People are hesitant to give their phone number unless they really enjoyed your company or have a reason to!
Use the word “because”
IE: You should give me your number because….
1. you’re a cool person and I had a lot of fun talking to you!
2. I’ll invite you to this party I’m throwing
3. I find you super attractive and would love to go on a date with you!
4. I’d love to hear more about your accounts receivable job.
AVOID giving someone your phone number and not getting theirs (if interested)
WHY?
Have you ever given someone your number and they never called? Has someone given you a number and you forgot about it and then thought “it’s been a week. I’d be awkward if I called!” People will find excuses to not contact you and you may never see them again if you don’t get their number.
Solution: when they enter your number in their phone, say “call my phone so that I have your number!”
People will respect you MORE if YOU take initiative to stay in touch and make plans with them!
BE DIRECT
You know how you wish what people truly thought of you? Same goes for everyone!
If you want someone to be your friend TELL THEM “I think you’d make a great friend because… (insert what you like about their personality here)”
If you find someone attractive and want to date them SAY IT! “I find you super attractive because…(insert what you like about their personality here) “we should go on a date”
Tell people the impact they’ve had on you!
IE“I love your smile because it makes me feel more positive and energized”
People love being complimented! People avoid doing these things because they are scared of rejection but in reality, not being direct with others will result in rejection. People who don’t know your intentions or perceptions of them are less likely to go out with you!
CONTACT ME @ estri021@umn.edu if you have any questions/concerns! My goal is to make this event as successful as possible for you!